perchu:

when you try to click an image on tumblr to see a bigger version but you get redirected to someones blog

image

(via pizza)

supersmashthestatebros:

no Santa, they’re not gifts, they’re jifts.

(via pizza)

swannsavior:

Whoever runs the Taco Bell twitter is pretty cool.

(via themightyduckling)

grumpysalmon:

Nah, that is idiocy. Weakness. Poison the chocolate. Defeat her.

grumpysalmon:

Nah, that is idiocy. Weakness. Poison the chocolate. Defeat her.

(via richarcl)

ggaga:

playlist for the day

  1. i don’t care - apocalyptica
  2. really don’t care - demi lovato
  3. i don’t care - fall out boy
  4. i love it (i don’t care) - icona pop
  5. i don’t care - 2ne1
  6. i don’t care about you - cody johnson
  7. we don’t care - kanye west
  8. i don’t care anymore - phil collins

(via fuckuary)

chibbbles:

Oh that’s cool so I can crack the sides as well.

That’s great.

(Source: wewantbalance, via jesussbabymomma)

officialunitedstates:

Many of us know Olive Garden’s slogan When You’re Here, You’re Family.  Well, I recently put that to the test.
The tables were wooden and nice to sit at.  The chairs were also comfortable.  The view wasn’t anything special, but there was a pretty cool looking van in the Walmart parking lot that had flames on its sides. 
I was immediately offered wine, and after admitting I was underage, refused wine.  If you’re going to offer me wine, please don’t rescind your offer.  It’s common courtesy.
The napkins were probably the highlight.  They were cloth and worked really well at cleaning the windows.  One waiter told me I didn’t have to do that, but I insisted.  After all, I like a good, clear view of parking lots.  Who doesn’t.
Finally, it was time to order.  I went with the pizza.  The menu said I could pick four toppings, so I chose half portions of eight toppings.  There were only seven to choose from, though, so I made one up.  “…and blorgaspork.”
"Sorry?  What is blorgaspork?"
"That’s your job to know, now isn’t it."
After a reasonable wait, my food arrived.  It was a really good meal, not exactly overpriced, but not exactly underpriced either.  It was just priced.
My waiter soon arrived and asked me if I wanted dessert. 
"Steve," I said, "Have a seat."
He did.
"I have this business idea.  And while I’m here, and we’re family, I was hoping you could give me a loan."
Steve tried to laugh it off.  Like it was some kind of joke.  I was offended and he could tell.  “Steve, this isn’t a joke.”
Steve looked a bit nervous.  I grabbed his hands and pinned them to the table.  “Are we family or not, Steve.”
"Not in the literal sense…" said Steve.  I wasn’t going to let him reason his way out of this one. 
"Look, Steve.  I cleaned your windows.  Family does that for each other.  They clean each others’ windows.  Now, don’t you think I deserve that loan?  We’re family, Steve, we’re family."
Steve handed me 13 bucks.  “Thanks, Steve.”
★★★☆☆

officialunitedstates:

Many of us know Olive Garden’s slogan When You’re Here, You’re Family.  Well, I recently put that to the test.

The tables were wooden and nice to sit at.  The chairs were also comfortable.  The view wasn’t anything special, but there was a pretty cool looking van in the Walmart parking lot that had flames on its sides. 

I was immediately offered wine, and after admitting I was underage, refused wine.  If you’re going to offer me wine, please don’t rescind your offer.  It’s common courtesy.

The napkins were probably the highlight.  They were cloth and worked really well at cleaning the windows.  One waiter told me I didn’t have to do that, but I insisted.  After all, I like a good, clear view of parking lots.  Who doesn’t.

Finally, it was time to order.  I went with the pizza.  The menu said I could pick four toppings, so I chose half portions of eight toppings.  There were only seven to choose from, though, so I made one up.  “…and blorgaspork.”

"Sorry?  What is blorgaspork?"

"That’s your job to know, now isn’t it."

After a reasonable wait, my food arrived.  It was a really good meal, not exactly overpriced, but not exactly underpriced either.  It was just priced.

My waiter soon arrived and asked me if I wanted dessert. 

"Steve," I said, "Have a seat."

He did.

"I have this business idea.  And while I’m here, and we’re family, I was hoping you could give me a loan."

Steve tried to laugh it off.  Like it was some kind of joke.  I was offended and he could tell.  “Steve, this isn’t a joke.”

Steve looked a bit nervous.  I grabbed his hands and pinned them to the table.  “Are we family or not, Steve.”

"Not in the literal sense…" said Steve.  I wasn’t going to let him reason his way out of this one. 

"Look, Steve.  I cleaned your windows.  Family does that for each other.  They clean each others’ windows.  Now, don’t you think I deserve that loan?  We’re family, Steve, we’re family."

Steve handed me 13 bucks.  “Thanks, Steve.”

★★★

(via jesussbabymomma)

"Isn’t it boring being on an all vegetable diet?"

veganprobs:

image

you tell me

(via fuckuary)

fruitcrocs:

when a teacher asks you if you understand the work and you don’t 

image

*gets 0 on the test*

image

(Source: fruitcrocs, via jesussbabymomma)

mcwrap:

i changed hi to nugget in my moms phone

mcwrap:

i changed hi to nugget in my moms phone

(via tyleroakley)

we-are-team-free-will:

sleepy-spirits:

did i tell you guys how i changed all the woords i could think of to “nyoom” on my moms phone

THIS IS MY FAVORITE TUMBLR POST OF ALL TIME

we-are-team-free-will:

sleepy-spirits:

did i tell you guys how i changed all the woords i could think of to “nyoom” on my moms phone

THIS IS MY FAVORITE TUMBLR POST OF ALL TIME

(via mynameisnotworthy)

posidone:

posidone:

image

*flicks holy water at screen* evil spirits begone, the power of christ compels you

image

come back evil spirits i didn’t mean it

(via mynameisnotworthy)